Rub a Dub Dub, Two Old men and a Harlot in a Tub….

Well, Ive given up trying to look for the jacuzzi, dishwasher and microwave on this non-luxury yacht, as I feel so content with the company of Roderick and John, my sailing companions.  They say they are happy to have me on their boat, and, as I have told them many times, I really don’t know how they have managed without me all this time!!

John

Roderick aka “Rasta Granddad”!

My first morning aboard their boat Furore in Carriacou, John brought me a cup of Earl Grey tea in my cabin, arm stretched through the doorway to preserve my privacy at 06.28am with a deep voice saying- “sorry this is late”!!!  Of course I didnt winge at all about the early arrival of my brew but made a little suggestion that 07.13 might be a better time!

As I write this, I have now spent 5 days with these two gentlemen, and, despite their advancing years, I’m feeling quite worn out – they certainly know how to party!  They are great company, chat easily about pretty much anything, very knowledgeable, particularly about boats, the sea and sailing and I’m learning so much from them.  One of these conversations one evening was about gender equality, Roderick felt that women had now achieved equality, I said I had to disagree.

So it was the next day, we sailed from Carriacou to an island called Union

and I trotted along with Roderick to customs and immigration.  We were met by a customs official who felt that his job title gave him the right to lecture me on my wanton ways as a woman – I kid you not!!

Its hot here in the Caribbean, hence I pretty much wear shorts and a vest top most of the time, and as I entered the customs building, I was wearing just that, along with my smile of course.  When you arrive in a new country the skipper has to attend customs and immigration, taking with him the boat papers and passports of any other crew member, I just went with him as I’m so nosey!  I regretted this move as my welcome to Union consisted of this “gentleman” asking Roderick “is that woman was with you?” – he didnt even address me directly.  When Roderick informed me I was, he said I couldn’t come into the building dressed like that, so I concealed my frustration, turned heel and walked out and waited for Roderick to emerge.  Twenty minutes later he did, and whispered to me that the customs official had asked for me to come in as he wanted a word with me.

Believe it or not, I was a good girl when I was in school, needing very little disciplining, and  never being called to the headmasters office for a good telling off.  The experience this gentleman put me through was the closest thing I can imagine to this.  I stood at his desk whilst he gave me a lecture, he spoke very slowly, in a completely condescending manner and said something like –

“I have a mother, she is a woman, I have a wife, she is a woman, I have a daughter, she is a woman (I’m biting my tongue during this lecture on anatomy……) and I think that women need to know how it is they should behave.  I think there are many women who should learn how to be better examples and understand how it is a woman should be.  More women need to spend time reading their bibles and learning to be good.”

Can you imagine how sore my tongue is becoming as I am biting hard onto it to stop it saying exactly what I was thinking, with pictures of Emiline Pankhurst chained to railings in my head.  I thought carefully, as I stood to attention at his desk while he delivered his 15 minute lecture on the failings of women and how they should behave about wondered how best to respond and try to stop his rant. I said that I had clearly offended him in some way and for that I was sorry, but informed him that I was a good woman, a mother and a professional with good standing in my community.  Roderick had been sitting listening to this, and I knew he was cross too, but we were both in a vulnerable position – immigration and customs is not a place to get shirty after all!  However, Roderick took my lead and informed him that my job is as a midwife and I have attended the births of many babies.

This suddenly made quite a difference to him, as he informed me his daughter wanted to go to the UK to train as a midwife and suddenly this wanton woman might be a great contact for her.  I would of course help his daughter for I’m sure she would love not only to train as a midwife, but to put as many miles between herself and her father as I’m sure she had been the brunt of many of his lectures!

So readers, I’m fit well, happy and off to bed to study my bible – goodnight!

Happy Lady of Good Repute….honest!!